Ajax had been asking for a few months “when is it HIS birthday?” and telling me about his candles and people singing Happy Birthday to him… so I knew this year we had to throw him a birthday party.
It’s coming back to me now because I’m here, but when there’s a new little person in your life, you have to take your days a little slower. Not just because they’re not on the eat three times a day, sleep through the night plan.
My soon-to-be oldest, he showed me just how amazing motherhood is. And while I don’t always feel confident in my motherhood, when I see him – happy, laughing, talking non-stop, exploring, learning, loving, even throwing a standard two year old protest – it gives me confidence.
This pregnancy, knowing there’s about to be another newborn in my life feels overwhelming at times. Because I don’t know how hard it will be. Or how much sleep I won’t get, or if everything I did with Ajax will not work with this one, leaving me with only Google and millions of texts to my mom in order to survive.
Even after I found out there was going to be another little boy joining our crew, I put off thinking about what things he might need until a week ago. And then I might have freaked out a little because even though we have a boy, it’s been over two years since he was a newborn.
I’ve heard older moms, moms who have kids older than mine, say that every age has been their favorite age. I haven’t had years yet being a mom, but I can tell you that Ajax’s age right now… my favorite.